Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to my right...

I have class two nights a week for four hours each. Five pm until nine pm Monday and Wednesday nights are rough. My Monday night Linguistics class is a little abstract and after listening to a babbling two year old all day it takes some time for me to wrap my brain around it. So I get to class at least an hour early to go over my notes, finish any reading and generally...take off my mom hat. There are numerous problems with this. First, I have to set up the room. The prof insists that we sit in a U-shape so we can "collaborate" more effectively. Yeah, and the two woman who still insist on sitting in the middle of the U are really sharing in that plan. Second, I have no say in who I sit by. I'm left to the mercy of the seating gods.

And apparently, they don't like me so much right now.

For the past few weeks I have been sitting between the equivalents of the clown and the joker. The clown on my left is a unassuming, younger girl. She laughs a lot. I thought we were going to be friends. And then she whipped out here laptop. Really. No body else in the entire department uses a laptop to take notes; and she doesn't either. She spends her time on Facebook and chatting with friends all the while those annoying little keys are tap, tap, tapping away in my ear.

It.drives.me.bat.sh*t.crazy.

On my right is the joker. Except, he's not funny. He carries a gallon of nursery water to class every night and inadvertently spills a least a cupful on the tables by the time we take our first break. This I can forgive, I understand the importance of hydrating. No, this is also the guys that "talks" to the prof during the whole lecture. Every sentence the prof says this guy answers under his breath, "Sure, yeah, oh, ok. Yeah, I see what you're saying." I am about ready to claw my ears out, request an ASL interpreter and never hear the sound of my dear daughter again.

But, you see, I'm a creature of habit. I'm sure you're all thinking that I should just move places! New people to sit by, no more annoying classmates! &In truth, that would probably solve my problem, but I have been sitting in the same seat, in the same spot, in every classroom I have inhabited since my undergraduate career began. I can't help it. I feel comfortable there; I can see the board, hear the professor, but safely enclosed by the rest of my classmates. It's the perfect position.